Words on the Wind


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107 Days

"It's not just a shiny new ring, its a silent promise of eternity."

“It’s not just a shiny new ring, its a silent promise of eternity.”

I’m counting down the days to my wedding! My love and I have set our date and ordered our invitations. It’s funny how  much closer I feel like we have grown since he placed this ring on my finger and asked the question. I feel like we are more open with each other. The time we are forced to spend apart grows more and more unbearable.

We have started pre-marital counseling and have had a blast so far. It is such a wonderful process this marriage thing. I love it and I am thankful my soon-to-be-husband and I are both enjoying it as it brings us closer together. The coming weeks will bring our engagement shoot! What fun that will be!

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A Million Firsts

The other day I was thinking back to all the memories I share with my new fiancé. Joy and laughter came flooding back to my heart, along with the feeling of incredible love and a hunger to create many more equally wonderful memories. Then another thought came to me as well. It was the realization of how many “firsts” this sweet man has given me – and not doubt I will continue to be granted many more firsts through him.

Some of the firsts he has given me are:

1. My first  prom experience

2. My first dance

3. The first time I ever held a boy’s hand (and wanted to)

4. The first time a guy ever told me he loves me

5. The first time I ever told a guy I love him too

6. My first kiss

7. My first time making French Macaroons

8. My first time trying Vegemite and Turkish delight

9. The first time anyone has ever read me stories

10. The first time I had ever realized I am not alive if I don’t have this young man’s love

So, so many firsts given to me by this one person, and so very many yet to come.

My first and my only.

My first and my only.

 


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Engaged at 19

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for them in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.”         1 Timothy 4:12

Yes, my fiancé and I are nineteen years old, and this Friday evening my dearest love proposed to me after he took me on a picnic by the river. I am truly excited and ever so blessed to be engaged to the most amazing man alive. There isn’t a soul on this beautiful Earth like him. Our plan in to be married in early August.

This engagement is a huge leap of faith for us. We have done nothing but pray about it for months and months, seek advising from one of our pastors, and budget, budget, budget! The two of us also went to our parents for advice, mine who support it fully, and my love’s who are a little less excited.

So why did we decide to go ahead and get married after I finish my first year of college and right before my fiancé starts his? Because we love each other. We are ready to promise our eternal love for each other in an everlasting vow before God. We don’t want to be across the state from one another at two separate universities. We want to experience life together young. Life is too short, we want forever together.

It will be hard, yes. It will be challenging knowing there are people, and a father, who don’t support our decision to wed so young, but our love is strong and our faith in God is stronger. I can’t wait to begin this journey through life with my best friend at my side.

If you have any advice for us, please feel free to share.


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A Simple and Perfect Truth

"Only you can make me feel so perfectly and openly free."

“Only you can make me feel so perfectly and openly free.”

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
-Bob Marley

 


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Daily Photo Challenge: Memories

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”   - Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”
– Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

For my photo challenge today, I have memories as the subject. To tell you the truth, every single photograph I take has a memory stitched through it. This photograph, however, has a memory sewn in it that I hope I never forget. A walk along a river, barefoot, hand-in-hand with a very special person.


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Something to Remember

I am homeschooled, but run track for a local high school. One thing that has been a dream of mine, since my freshman year, was to be asked to prom. I don’t know why I wanted to go so badly, I just always have. I’m one of those shy girls who only has a little group of special friends, the ones who were nice enough to pull me in and break me out of my shell.

Every year, as prom came and went, I would log on to my Facebook account to see all of my public school friends posting their stunning prom photos. I would look through them all, admiring their attire and happy memories, thinking I would never be able to experience them myself.

Then my senior year came. I never thought of prom until track started. It was months away, yet people were already being asked and getting their dresses. A few of my wonderful friends decided that they were going to take me with them to prom, with or without a date. By then, I was willing to tag along with them just so I could see what prom would be like.

The school was down to the last two weeks before prom. Everyone had their dates and their dresses, everyone except for me which was usual and expected. I was completely sure no one was asking me to prom this year and decided that I would feel too awkward attending a high school prom alone as a shy, little, homeschooled girl. So there went another year – my last year – of getting a chance to be asked to prom. I accepted it and tried not to think about it too much.

Monday started like any other day. A morning full of school, an evening full of running, and two jars empty of honey.  When practice ended for the day, I was going to give my honey jars to my sprinter coach whose family had a honey business. When she found me, she told me to give them to Will. I thought absolutely nothing of it. Will lived right next to his cousins who did the honey. I just thought she said that so he could give it right to them.

Now let me pause for a second to explain something. This Will guy is one of those guys who everyone in the school loves. He is super athletic and good, excuse me, amazing at everything he does. Not to mention super smart.

So anyway, I grabbed my jars and went into the school to find him. As I’m standing in the commons, he walks out from one of the halls. I shyly walk up to him and hand him the jars. I’m nervously asking him if my check is made out for the right amount, then I plan on bolting to the door. As he is explaining the amount should be correct, I start to inch away, but he follows. After he answers my question about the check he calmly and simply adds, “and I was wondering if you’d like to come to prom with me.”

I finally stopped trying to escape. I was speechless. All I could think to say was “for real?!” He assured me he wasn’t kidding and, of course, I said yes! Then I sped home, texted my friends, and panicked. Only a week to prepare! Even though I was offered to borrow some gorgeous dresses, my mom felt that she needed to buy me my very first prom dress.

On Friday, the only day my mom had free, we went on our search at 6:00 p.m. after I had been running at a track meet all day. We grabbed a pizza and headed for the nearest mall which was only a little over 100 miles away.

As we rushed from shop to shop, nothing caught either of our eyes, other than the dresses that only had sizes 10 times too big for me. We were headed to a store we weren’t really sure even sold dresses when I confessed to my mom that I was starting to get scared. After asking a clerk if the store had any dresses, we headed for the small juniors section way at the back. The two racks of leftover dresses did not look promising. As I moved one of the dresses, something caught my eye. A beautiful white, black, and silver dress that would match my date’s already-purchased grey tux, and it was my size! We snatched it up and grabbed some accessories with 30 minutes to spare before the mall closed.

That following Saturday was prom, and it was amazing! Whatever I thought it would be like was shattered and replaced by the reality of an unbelievably wonderful day! My date was the biggest gentleman I have ever met and even let me hang off his arm anytime I tried to stumble anywhere in my heels. And then there was my first slow dance.

I realized that night that I have an incredibly amazing and caring group of friends, even if it is small.

Track and Prom 320


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A Girl Who Reads

The other day I was going through and finding a bunch of quotes for no other reason than to amuse myself, when I happened upon this one by Rosemarie Urquico. I read through this rather interesting passage, and that’s when it hit me. She was talking about me – or at least her words unknowingly describe me completely. I thought I would share it for everyone who happens upon it. Who knows, it might speak to you, too.

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“You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent.  Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

– Rosemarie Urquico

(Image credit to Vendla Stockdale of Vendla Stockdale Photography)

(Image credit to Vendla Stockdale of Vendla Stockdale Photography)